IT HAD TO BE A COMA

I've been thinking lately about how quickly the boys are growing up. My youngest just turned 12, and 8 months from now two out of three will be in high school. Now I know for a fact that I HAVE NOT aged 16 years since that first foray into parenthood. I insist that statement is true and I will not be swayed into thinking otherwise. As I ponder over photos of those toddler years like they were truly yesterday, I wonder (I'm good at wondering and pondering) and then I ask myself, what happened?



Was I in a coma for 8 years?

I think back..... it's 2002 and they are ALL in school - one in preschool, another in kindergarten, and the oldest in second grade. They had entered academia. They were scholars...men of letters. I had begun my role as transportation engineer. Now you see, the boys attended a charter school and there was no bus transportation, Therefore, it was my job to get Spencer to school around 8:15 and then, if it was Tuesday or Thursday, I had to get Grady to pre-K around 9 am. and then I would have a leisurely 2.5 hours to be a mom of one. Before I could sit for more than 5 minutes I was off to pick up Grady and head back to the the other school to take Cooper to afternoon kindergarten. Again, a one-child mom for another 2+ hours when I would go back and pick up Cooper and Spencer. Was I getting into the van or out of the van? I had no idea. There may have been some nap time in there for the little guy but more likely errands, lunch, laundry and back to the school. Now it was me and the three until daddy got home from work. This was less than a year before he would leave the marriage. If only I would have known that at the time, I would SO have enjoyed that year of leisure when I actually had a few moments to myself in the evenings.

Anyway, two years later it got easier because Grady was in kindergarten and the school had recently gone to full-day kindergarten. I had the day to myself but was taking classes at the local community college so that I could get back into the workforce. This is where I seem to jump ahead to the present..... where my boys have gone from watching Disney movies and VeggieTales, from chunky Legos and kiddie pools, from PlayDoh and puzzles, to Harry Potter and war movies, XBoxes and the Wii, Airsoft guns and collecting knives (oh how I shudder at this one). And my personal saddest change..... from believing in Santa Claus to "really mom, get serious" and wanting mainly gift cards from everyone..... not this mom. I want to wrap something real!!!

Is there no more innocence left? Why did I wish for the PlayDoh years to be over with? I miss making forts with them with every possible piece of furniture that could be moved. I want them to pop that Reader Rabbit pc game into the old desktop computer and ask me a million questions. I think those things really happened. I'll have to go consult my photo boxes and scrapbooks to make sure.

I admit I love, love, love the fact that they can put a pizza in the oven, scramble their own eggs, help with the laundry, MOW THE LAWN, SHOVEL THE SNOW, and I cringe..... back the car down the driveway, but if only I could have one day a month to rewind the years and spend a day with my little goofballs.

I get through these moments of nostalgia by reminding myself that it will be all too soon that I will be looking back to 2011 and wishing I could have this time back. We all know this is true don't we? I guess so. When they get home from school today I'll try yet again to work those XBox controls and kill me some Russians or ghillie-suited marines. Better yet, I'll get out Spencer's knife collection and enjoy that.